Chapter Five: Such, Such are the Joys. A Same Old and Some Spin

A Same Old: There’s Paul Lo Duca and another girlfriend smiling broadly once again because he made the trip to Sambo’s in Leipsic here in Delaware to sample their fabulous steamed crabs with coleslaw and French fries. They’re drinking some fresh Dogfish Head locally brewed beer also, “just the best with those swell crabs”! he said, agreeably. “I need to pack in all the good times I can get coming back into the game against the Phillies on Monday night”.



Some Spin: Manager of the Year? Watching Charlie Manuel taking credit – when it should be the blame - for making an excellent starting pitcher - a guy with four great pitches - that’s right Brett Myers, into a closer!





And for continuing to use and to defend using rhp Tom Gordon (ERA 6.00) as an 8th inning reliever when he continues to give up home runs. The Phillies are 6 behind the Mets and 3 behind the Padres and guess who’s comin’ to dinner tonight at seven??



The Joys: Blessings be upon the Major Leagues for eschewing Tommy Lasorda, the old, cranky insider who was somewhat funny in last year’s spots. In choosing Dane Cook this year they’re goin’ for young and hip. Mr. Cook is good looking without Paul Lo Duca’s dangerous ethnicity. In fact he’s actually not in Mr. Lo Duca’s league at all, because he looks about eighteen. He also has tee-shirts goin’ for him, which as my readers know, are not my preferred form of dress except for, but of course, ball games! But he does have an alluring and lustrous voice especially when he says “There ‘s only one..! – “Oc-toe-ber!” Right, Dane, honey

The Joys – in Yesterday’s matinee against the Padres all of the Phillies’ best hitters, especially those who had not been hitting the way they know how, like 1st baseman and mvp, Ryan Howard, came across bigtime. He, Rollins, Iguchi, Burrell, Rowand, Coste and Werth who hit a career 5 for 5 high, unleashed a mighty tsunami that drowned the Padres 14-2 while lifting their own and the fans’ spirits like thousands of tiny boats to the top of that wave.

Obvious Conclusion: The Phillies must take most of this series against the Mets. On Tuesday Adam Eaton will pitch. Didn’t I tell you his shoulder wasn’t very sore?