Now that the Playoffs have actually started, Dane Cook comes closer to the camera in his commercials and smiles: we get a good look at his teeth. Now we know why it doesn’t matter whether his jokes are funny or not. He has the best smile around. Teeth are it for me, everything! And Dane honey, you’ve got ‘em, bigtime!
So does my favorite Phillie, Jimmy Rollins have great teeth, as well as meeting all of the other biases detailed in my first chapter.
• He’s handsome. (and very photogenic).
• He’s fit, and proved it by playing in every game of the regular season.
• He’s not too tall, 5’8, and powerfully built.
• He’s well groomed, always.
• He dresses well outside of Citizens Bank Park:
• He loves animals:
• He is the Phillies’ leader, especially this year because of his prophecy that raised so many laughs when he came to bat against the Mets at Shea. And only brought tears at the end.
• He honors the Phils in his behavior. He didn’t get on the cover of Sports Illustrated by being a jerk!
In yesterday’s lst playoff game against the Colorado Rockies, a swell team, three sets of circumstances prevented the Phillies from winning.
Our ace Cole Hamels walked 3 and gave up 3 runs in the 2nd inning.
Rockies’ Pitcher Jeff Francis kept our top guys from getting any hits. Rollins, Utley and Howard went 0-11 with eight strikeouts! Eight strikeouts? Yes. Utley struck out four times, and he’s only done that once before!
The Phillies didn’t field well either. Rowand couldn’t field Todd Helton’s leadoff triple in the 2nd inning. He scored that first crucial 1st run.
Hamels regained his control for the rest of his innings but Jeff Francis was the hero of the game. He only allowed two back to back home runs by Pat Burrell and Aaron Rowand.
Left fielder Matt Holiday hit a home run off reliever Flash Gordon in the seventh to bring the score to its final 4-2.
Ignominiously, Carlos Ruiz made the only steal, despite speedy pinch runner Michael Bourn being in there. The team is staying upbeat, declaring that they always come back from behind.
That is the Phillies’ style, Not To Worry Department.
But I’m worried anyway.
