Thursday, June 10, 2010

Perfect Behavior by a Great Guy - Lousy Behavior by a So-So Guy



The huge kerfuffle over umpire Jim Joyce’s wrong call when Cleveland’s Jason Donald was out at first, thus spoiling Detroit pitcher Armando Galarraga’s perfect game last Wednesday June 3rd has gotta be laid to rest. (As if we needed any more proof that Bud Selig was as the French say, un vrai con for not reversing Joyce’s call!) Why? Because Galarraga spoke and behaved in the most graceful and professional ways possible. He accepted Joyce’s apology. He expressed neither bitterness nor anger. He knows he pitched a perfect game. And it’s enough for him. It should be enough for us too.

On the other hand Phillies right fielder Jayson Werth behaves badly in a way that reflects not just on him but on the team as well. He’s been striking out regularly, 0 for 4 last night and 0 for 5 three nights ago. Each time he strikes out he throws his bat in anger. He’s a petulant 31-year old child.

Werth was separated at birth from the “Wild Child of Aveyron (France).” “Victor” was a real boy who raised himself up in the forest seemingly without human contact in the 18th century. He was rescued by a doctor, treated humanely, and as I recall, (we’re talkin’ about the 1970 movie, right?) that kind doctor taught “Victor” to speak. Justly celebrated auteur Francois Truffault, think “Jules et Jim”, wrote and directed that movie and also played the doctor. I took my kids and some of their friends to see it just after we had moved to Manhattan. We all loved it.

But my oh my, that wild child was unclean and unkempt. He seemed never to have had any experience with soap and really did not walk upright either when he was found. Werth doesn’t appear to be having any experience with soap right presently. Yeah, he looks and acts like “Victor” to me. There’s the strikeout anger we’ve seen. There’s that strange lope around the bases. And most importantly, that repulsive, no, egregious facial hair. Ee-yew! Missing Link Department bigtime!

So how come Armando Galarraga – a Venezuelan – has more class than a 3rd generation American major leaguer? Because his parents taught him how to behave, that’s how come. Werth’s parents blew it.

Saturday, June 5, 2010

A Local Tragedy

On Memorial Day the Harrisburg Patriot News baseball columnist David Jones (My Two Cents) wrote about 600 poetic words on Phillies telecaster Tom McCarthy which he called “When less really is more.”

“As a Philadelphia Phillies fan, as a fan of baseball, I want three things when I watch a game on television: I do not want to be told things I already can see. I do not want to be told things I already know. I want interludes when I’m not being told anything at all. I want to listen to the sounds of nothing happening. In no other game do the sounds of nothing in particular going on sound quite as they do at a baseball game. ”

David Jones must, and if he hasn’t heard it, would adore the world’s most beautiful song “Knoxville: Summer of 1915” composed by Samuel Barber born in West Chester, PA, with lyrics by novelist James Agee who wrote: “We are talking now of summer evenings in Knoxville Tennessee in the time that I lived there so successfully disguised to myself as a child.”

…“On the rough wet grass of the backyard my father and mother have spread quilts. We all lie there, my mother, my father, my uncle, my aunt, and I too am lying there. They are not talking much and the talk is quiet, of nothing in particular, of nothing at all in particular, of nothing at all…”

Knoxville: Summer of 1915 was commissioned by Metropolitan Opera soprano Eleanor Steber from Barber in 1949. It was a big hit then and continues to be one of the most well loved songs in the American canon. Barber , Agee and Steber gave us 1915 America. Baseball is America right now and the America in our bones. Until something actually happens, nothing happens; time just passes, out of mind, suspended, eternal.

When Harry Kalas died Tom McCarthy took over. He’s exactly like the Catholic boys from Villanova we never dated in the Fifties when I was growing up on the Main Line. They were so earnest, so sincere. So devoid of cool. David Jones writes: “Not only does McCarthy talk too much, he does it with that voice of the golden-throated pitchman, as if I’m being sold to nonstop. It’s like spending an evening with a Realtor (Italics mine). I’m already on-board with the Phillies. I don’t need them sold to me. Everything is over the top. The effect is this: When something awesome happens, like Roy Halladay’s perfect game, it just sounds like another 100-decibel pitch out of McCarthy’s mouth.”

Great stuff, right? McCarthy’s timbre tires me the way my mother’s did at breakfast while she bashed my long-gone Dad. Heaven forefend I might have been allowed to get up earlier to avoid her. But I can turn the sound of McCarthy off and hear the witty radio guys Larry Anderson and Scott Franke whenever I want to.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

R.I.P. Department!



It’s not exactly a secret that Roy Halladay left the Blue Jays because he wanted to pitch for a team with championship prospects and who has been hotter than the Phillies? I mean all the millions the Phillies are giving him didn’t influence him as greatly. (Right!) When he signed, I mean. And I guess he hardly gave a thought about batting or to what kind of manager Charlie Manuel might really turn out to be.

‘Cause in my opinion Halladay is gonna die young. The way things are going and of course I mean the way Manuel refuses to trust his bullpen and keeps him pitching complete games, he won’t make it to September. And maybe not even the 4th of July.

What’s with that?

Last Tuesday night against the Pittsburgh Pirates Halladay got three batters up to 3 and 0. He only had done that 46 times during his entire previous career. He left the game after the 8th inning with a 132 pitch count. 132 pitches, the most in baseball this season so far! Yes we know relievers Lidge and Madson are out. But there’s Romero, Durbin, Baez and Jose Contreras. And Manuel knows how to win without Lidge, who was pretty terrible last season.

The fault lies how Manuel’s managing right now. That game, that pathetic loss to the hopelessly Low-Road Game Pirates – 2-1 – was a lousy harbinger. Why did Manuel let Halladay become so exhausted? Phew! You could really see it! His fabulous ability to locate his pitches wasn’t there as the game progressed as those 3 and 0 counts showed along with the sweat we could see. Still Manuel kept him in. Not a crime, a stupidity. (And the Phillies hitters didn’t deliver either. Did Utley’s night off cast a hex on everybody else?)

Manuel is in his 10th season as manager. His experience comes from being a hitting coach and great hitter himself. He deserves tremendous credit for bringing Placido Polanco back because Polanco - he’s wonderful! He does everything well, with panache! He makes baseball look so easy! He’s the kind of player who inspires children, a lodestar to get them playing young enough so that those who hone their talents do, some of them do make it to the bigtime.

I’ve gotta log onto MLB and order my Polanco shirt. And remember starters Halladay, Hamels, Blanton, Kendrick and Moyer in my prayers while Manuel’s around.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Welcome Back


The Phillies and toothsome catcher Carlos Ruiz – who can forget that grin after Brad Lidge fanned pinch hitter Eric Hinske to take the 08 Series – and Carlos ran out and embraced Lidge on his knees? – have agreed to a three-year $8.85 million contract that avoids salary arbitration. The contract includes a $5 million club option for 2013 with a $500,000 buyout. Not bad for a guy who was making $425,000 in the 08 season. Carlos hit .375 in the 08 Series and .333 in 09 with slugging percentages of .722 and .706. He is the guy of whom they speak when they say ‘and the Phillies really have some power in the bottom of the order’. Carlos bats eighth.

Carlos is really valued for his catching and play-calling skills so it is heartening to see him getting his due. I mean who knows how much worse Cole Hamels and Brad Lidge might have pitched against the Yankees had Carlos not been catching them. After many years in the minor leagues he’s a star. Yes.

You can see his interview on the Phillies website under news. “I’m really glad to be staying in Philly”, he says. And speaking of that, Carlos may not need to go to a Rookie Camp weekend to learn how to avoid the pitfalls of stardom and lots of money. But he well might consider buying a home or apartment in Philly with his new salary. Philadelphia is a huge, spread out city that used to be the 3rd largest in the US because of its no longer existent manufacturing base. So there are lots of swell neighborhoods that have been revitalized that are not too far from Citizens Bank Park including South Philadelphia itself. There’s University City where Penn is, Center City, Society Hill, Fish Town where Chef Gordon Ramsay retooled the Hot Potato Café completely on Fox recently. One of the best - off the Parkway between the Art Museum and downtown Philly - has swell houses and apartments with views of the skyline and back yards for partying. I can just see Carlos now at the barbecue grilling his special Panamanian recipes. Ole!

Placido Polanco is coming back to the Phillies with a 3 -year $18 million contract to replace Pedro Feliz at third base and possibly bat second. He may not be looking for a home in Philly because he already lives in South Florida a few blocks from Phillies left fielder Raul Ibanez. Boy wouldn’t I love living a few blocks from those two! (We’ve had 36” of snow already in Carlisle this winter and expect between 12” and 18” tonight.) Placido played for Detroit for 3+ seasons, got 3 Golden Gloves and had the 2nd lowest strikeout average in the Majors. Don’t the Phillies need him?

That dog hunts.

Monday, July 6, 2009

Jimmy Rollins Bad Batting Slump...

... Appears to be Over with the Sweep of the Mets



We wonder whether we could have lived through what Jimmy’s experienced. But now he’s hitting, and hitting well, including a solo home run early in the third winning home game against the Mets, pitched masterfully by Joe Blanton and the gang. With a lovely little save by Brad Lidge, but of course.

And looking forward to the All-Star Game, whose National League Team will be managed by our Genius-In-Residence Charley Manuel, but of course! Then there’ll be Second Baseman Chase Utley and Left Fielder Raul Ibanez. Utley got all of his votes because he’s so smart and such a good hitter and fielder, and be-cause he’s a home-grown guy. Ibanez got some of his votes, let’s face it, because he’s a Phillie now and exhibited his marvelous skills this year within the wonderful Phillies firmament.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

What Did They Forget to Remember? (The Phillies lose 6 Home Games in a Row!)

The essence of what Charlie Manuel must have yelled and lectured them about: don’t forget what playing good baseball means. Execute each play cleanly, sneakily, be aware of what’s going on around you, who’s there, who’s not there, be quick, be aggressive and in all things never ever give up.

Oh we watched them come so close to disproving Charlie’s anger in these games, so many marvelous moments like Ryan Howard’s pinch hit homer out of the hospital bed. Those moments were so short lived, ‘though, not the droppings from the continuous torrents of talent that flow from one player to another and don’t let up that we remember from last year.

Well it may be that Jimmy Rollins’ lousy season is the bell weather of this year. If he doesn’t improve, the gang won’t make it. One does not like to pitch one’s tent on the fate of one batter. Especially when he and Victorino together make a fantastic duo for Utley batting third, driving any pitcher to deepest desperation…I mean that Rollins has to be batting well enough to be leading off. Because he is still, when all is said and done, THE KEY!

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Nicknames Die Hard



The Phillies Took on Red Sox Pitcher Josh Beckett – this past Sunday. He might have been surprised by the breadth of their victory. This is because he’s been called a Lousy Teammate and Old Nicknames Die Hard.

Because Beckett makes his opinions known all over the place, with accompanying expressions and gestures, wandering up & down the dugout. And he’s been a good pitcher, it’s not that, it’s that he’s so free with his opinions. He’s certainly beaten the Phillies in the past, beginning when he was a Marlin...

In the 7th inning Jimmy Rollins ended his drought with a lovely line drive lead off home run. The Phillies scored 6 runs in this inning and ended Boston’s 5-game winning streak; this probably made Beckett peckish. The Lord knows he looks puckish for starters. The Phillies won 11-6 and that was very satisfying; as it was to see the attentive way Beckett was watching from the Red Sox dugout after he was taken out in the 7th.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Two World Champions Get Together



There are Tears and Laughter Forever After,
Tomorrow, Just You Wait and See…

The three games the Phillies played against the Yankees in the new Yankee Stadium over Memorial Day Weekend were quite the most wonderful three games in a row I can ever remember since the championships – before and since. And I think there’s an explanation for this. The fact that both the Yankees and the Phillies are Champions conveys “Team-Ness” upon them. A special kind of glory, the knowledge of what it has taken, and a relaxed view of what it will take again. That’s why Jimmy Rollins predicts it will be the Yanks & the Phils down at the Wire. I think so too. Look who the Phils have added in left field: Raul Ibanez. Could you have designed a more wonderful player? A more poetic guy? And the way he speaks and carries himself! Talk about meeting all of my biases!!!

The Phils didn’t lose that second game, Brad Lidge blew a save. He walked the very handsome Johnny Damon and threw a slider A-Rod could not resist – of course not! This was sad, but not life-threatening.

In the third game Carlos Ruiz showed all of his talents, not just catching but throwing, oh so well, blocking the plate, oh so staunchly and heartily and hitting, oh so importantly. He was the hero of that game. As a team the Phillies were mighty. Cheers to new Phillie John Mayberry for hitting a homer on his first at bat! And jeers to Jayson Werth for playing without shaving.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Who Really Wanted to Meet Who?



The Phillies began a 4-game series against the Washington Nationals Friday evening. And prior to that they met with President Obama at the White House. My bet is that Mr. Obama wanted to meet – you guessed it - Chase Utley – the best and smartest baseball player in the Major Leagues. And my guess is also, that Chase Utley wanted to meet the President as well, no slouch in the brains department. Although he has not designed any athletic moves, he’s designed quite a few financial moves, moves we know quite well and call Socialism. They come under the rubric of ‘enlarging government and expanding its control over American citizens’.

Now what Chase designed for himself is this: he stands really really close to the plate, forcing the pitcher to pitch good pitches inside, or else he hits him. 25 times last year, 27 times the year before, and he gets so many good clean balls he hits lots of home runs and doubles - last year - and even manages to play well with a completely bum hip as evidenced by the second part of last season. And the way Chase has overcome having so little space in front of the plate to swing in: How does he do it? He developed the Chase Utley Short Swing. Ask Any Broadcaster, player, manager. Basically when you look at him, instead of extending his arms the way Raul Ibanez does, he takes a chop at the ball and his arms are so powerful this chop suffices to put the ball where he needs it to go – into the stands, let’s say.

You can imagine how much a short swinging baseball player might appeal to a long armed basketball player like President Obama? Duh. But, who would you rather be? The president or Chase Utley? Utley, right? A 7-year contract like Utley recently got from the Phillies? The president only got a 4 year contract and for a heck of a lot less money. I rest my case.

The Harry Kalas Tribute



This afternoon at one p.m. Philadelphia paid tribute to its beloved broadcaster Harry Kalas who had died in the booth before the game this past Monday night. Citizens Bank Park was packed and the tributes were both touching, funny and sincere. Everyone who ever met Harry seems to have loved him and everyone who ever heard him did also. As Harry Anderson said, ‘he had about two million best friends’. His son Kane spoke eloquently and so did pitcher Jamie Moyer. The tribute that touched me most, ‘though, was that of Michael Jack Schmidt, the 3rd baseman whose 500th home run Harry called and who was very present during the 1980 World Series win by the Phillies. He read a Psalm about a bountiful life and said that the outstanding fact about Harry’s life was how bountiful it was and how bountifully he gave of himself. This made me cry quite a bit as I’m sure it did everyone there at the Park. He said that as a son of a minister, Harry made broadcasting his ministry and it had been his calling. And who’s to say it was not? He made the Hall of Fame after all. His partnership with Richie Ashburn was a great blend of friendship, talent and love for the game. Harry’s voice was well known throughout sport for it’s mellifluity and he coined many phrases we’ll not forget, but ‘outta here’ will be the one that will stick longest I think when Phillies hit the long balls.

I can’t imagine that the organization is even thinking of trying to replace Harry Kalas.

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Who’s the Real Love of My Life?

One Guess!

When it comes to real love department in the case of the Phillies the decision was very easy once a certain person came to the team. Now you’re gonna think it was Cole Hamels. Sure enough he’s my second favorite guy. He’s got everything going for him: he’s the best pitcher in the major leagues for starters and he’s quite good looking. But he’s very serious. Very modest. Self deprecating. That Chase Utley kind of thing. Never acknowledges that he is the best, while always expecting the next pitch to be a strike, the next game to be a win. While we all know he will win because he is the best. So what’s with that?

The guy I love is 5 ’10. He has thick not too curly hair and the straightest most beautiful white teeth possible. He’s got golden skin with peaches in his cheeks. A short straight nose with slightly flaring nostrils and beautifully shaped full lips. Have you guessed who it is yet?

It’s Carlos Ruiz, but of course. He’s the most romantic and talented guy the Phillies have ever had. He’s the single player who made those Playoff World Series wins possible. Think about it! True, right? Right. He caught for everybody! All of those fantastic pitchers, including Joe Blanton. Omigod! Yes. And yes Cole was very valuable.

But you saw the games, the season, the Post Season – those Playoffs, the Series, that rain. What did Carlos not do? Answer: he did it All. And with aplomb, with smiles. What photographic image do we remember from Brad’s last strikeout? Carlos running to his embrace with that million watt smile, right? I do, and I know you do.

But what we fans do not know is what Carlos does for the team on the road, just a little caper to keep the boys amused. He plays Zorro on his horse and sings a little, too. Just thought you’d love to see him…..There’s the reason, and the real reason.

Baby Come Back Department
As so many people know, Carlos Ruiz is Panamanian, a country that has born the terrible tragedy of then President Jimmy Carter’s decision, which Congress passed, to give the Panama Canal back to Panama in 1978. Carlos was born in 1979, amidst all the hopes that his parents and his country must have sustained only to have them sink into the mire of drugs, money laundering and graft that Panama has endured in all the years since we left.

Monday, February 23, 2009

Heat

Question: What do hot guys do?
Answer: Anything they want.

And one of the things the Phillies want is to take care of the Phillies nation, the people who count, you know - WE WHO HAVE CONTINUED TO HANG AROUND SINCE 1980. And one of the things management did was to send the World Series bling around Pennsylvania; that was very thoughtful and marvelous. Unfortunately, I did not find out when it was coming to Harrisburg (by train I think!) or somewhere else very near Carlisle, wasn’t that lazy of me? Yes. So money hasn’t been everything, right, the fans count for a lot! And let’s face it, we have had the most marvelous winter, sleeping regularly and willing to do chores, all of us, and looking so forward to spring, with Florida training and all of the glory that leads up to the Opening of the Season! That’s because none of us are cranky anymore. Talk about a lot of good dispositions breakin’ out! Phew! I guess. No longer shall we even think of booing Santa Claus or any other great guy! We’ve experienced The Great Win! We can relax because the Phils actually did it. And now we know the real truth. They can do it again and probably will. That’s what greatness is. That and trading Pat Burrell at last: the sum of all our hopes realized.

And what will the Phils be doing in these last few weeks before actual play begins? Workin’ on their nicknames, a precious activity. Akin to getting’ ready for; actually it’s not akin to getting’ ready for anything else because a nickname is bestowed upon you by your peers. Therefore you cannot do anything to get ready for it except to hope that you are good enough, true enough and smart enough so that your peers want to give you a nickname that characterizes the real you is so witty that you and everyone else loves it….

And who are we most curious about? Manager Charlie Manuel, but of course. He didn’t start being a genius this past season, Omigosh! No. He’s been the best for a very long time. And when did his greatness start to develop bigtime? When he went to Japan! And that’s where he got that nickname: Scoshi, pronounced Scoa-shee. It’s a Japanese word that means thin or little. Charlie was tall and not small but he was quite thin then. He batted like Joe DiMaggio and hit 189 homers in six seasons. He then returned to the US to direct the Cleveland Indians Minor League systems and worked his way UP, as Scott Kendrick put it. He also learned how to coach batting as a result of those experiences, and coached Manny Ramirez, who has seemed to retain Charlie’s advice. In the old days Charlie was 6 ft., 04, 200 lbs. Today he probably weighs a bit more, but the ‘scoshi’ – ironic truth about him – big guy small ego - lives.

RF Jayson Werth has realized that his teeth are ugly. He hasn’t seen all of Steve Buscemi’s movies over and over for nothing. That he realized this himself when the Phillies gave him his nickname tells the story. Fish! Fish??? Werth’s teeth are way too little. They do look like fish teeth. Actually the point is that his teeth look like bluefish teeth, and that’s a really bad look. Depending on your point of view. Bluefish swim into a bay, anywhere where there are some fish hanging out. They devour everything. And quickly! Nanosecond city. Ugly but mighty, that’s the watchword. And when you catch a bluefish you have to kill it, a fast blow to its head or it will bite you if it’s anywhere near anything of yours, like your toes.

Now Werth knows that he needs new teeth – the $25,000 veneers – the kind that cover-up whatever one has and give you big white new ones, according to Harold Golightly, Jimmy Rollins oral surgeon. But he also knows that if he does get veneers he will know longer have that great association with what he actually does in right field – you guessed it!– gobble up whatever comes there.

S0 we realize and so does Werth that Blue might be as good a nickname as Fish if we really think about it…..The Phils calling Werth Fish might just think how unpejorative that is and think how wonderfully pejorative Blue might be. That they could change that in a blink, and they’d have it, and that would make Jayson, so very, very happy. Nicknames have to go deep, right?

And in Jimmy Rollins case, you will need an explanation at the very least. His nickname is DEWG. That stands for Delaware Water Gap. And that refers to the gap between his teeth, and since the Delaware River rises at the Water Gap on the border at the eastern central part of the state, the Phillies are kind enough to recognize Pennsylvania in lieu of California where Jimmy’s from in relation to Jimmy’s photogenic space.

And lest you think Jimmy does not view his gap seriously here is what he does: twice a year he flies out and spends half a day with the aforementioned oral surgeon Harold Golightly who measures how far his gap has narrowed – teeth grow together folks – and calibrates –just much he has to shave off each side to keep that gap 1/16” apart at the top and 3/16” at the bottom”. Dr. Golightly is very particular. And since Jimmy does not like to feel that kind of pain, and who does? He gets a nice chunk of local anesthesia and takes the day off. It’s not a cheap procedure, either. I think these little adjustments cost about $5,ooo a year. Phew! Whoever said glamour wasn’t expensive?

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Hail Thee, Festival Day! Blessed Day That Art Hallowed Forever…

The opening of the season is a bucket of 162 stars that we hang up in the empty skies of our dreams. But for us Phillies fans that season only started yesterday at the Mets last home-game opener at Shea. Their previous games count but they do not matter! O negative blood donated for free by Mets players and fans bathed the cold air. Or as Billy Wagner said before the game: Are we supposed to lay down because they won 8 straight?”

Make that 9, Billy.

It was a strange game. The things we know the Phillies can do, they did; Moyer pitched 6 innings ever so slowly – and gave up but two runs. Chase Utley was hit 3 times at bat, once on the baseline by Delgado, and still hit a double. The team scored all their runs beginning in the 7th inning. There was a scary collision between Shane Victorino and Jayson Werth but each of them got up and continued. Jimmy quit in the 8th with a left ankle sprain. He’s not playing tonight. By the time relievers Chad Durbin and J.T. Romero finished their turns without giving up any runs, the Phillies had scored 5. Tom Gordon guarded the grail in the 9th, getting the side out in 3. It was a swell 5-2 win for us while both the Mets and the fans were unduly quiet. But hey! They’ve been infected with the idea that they should win, that they’re entitled. It oozes from them and from the fans who booed Jimmy when he was introduced. Now the Phillies - the 12-step kids who might have been addicted to losing - before last season -take one game at a time.

The Server Makes the Meal
It was Mitch Williams, an analyst and former Phillies pitcher on Comcast, who quoted Mr. Wagner before yesterday’s game. He is very handsome in a wholesome way, the kind of looks your mother would like. He appears to be tall. He dresses pretty well, despite a bit of shine I spy in some of his garments. Omigosh! Yes. But he does have the most amazing hair. His stylist has taken his natural wave and knocked it out with a punk finish. Inspiring! What he analyzes and how he does it is anything but wholesome. He is destructively funny. “I was a lousy pitcher”, he always says in his own defense. With his wonderful timing and expressive timbre he might be giving lessons to standup types and TV hosts.

Lo Duca Lookout
Brett Myers hit Mr. Lo Duca on his left arm in the Phillies opening home game against the Nats. The fans cheered, which must have made him feel lousy. The next day during an interview with Nats commentator Debbi Taylor he allowed as how it didn’t get him down at all. “It’s what makes the game so wonderful,” he added. “They’ve really been giving it to me in the bullpen, about the Mitchell Report and all that good stuff”. He showed lots of teeth.

It’s not exactly news that I think the Mets goofed bigtime when they traded him. Fortunately I get some Nats games here in Delaware. Some of my readers have suggested that I may have an obsession with Mr. Lo Duca. Dr. Cole Porter knew a lot more about it than I do. “ I’ve Gotchoo…” he said, “Under My Sink.”

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Baseball Lit 101

The New BILL JAMES Historical Baseball Abstract of 2001 revises his previous Abstract; it’s a 1012 page compendium of data through the 1999 season. He covers every aspect of the game except the history of hotdogs. A 27 page Index! A ton of stuff you want to know.

First there is the history of baseball from the beginning, as well as the history of the Negro Leagues. Mr. James does this by decades. Some his most interesting beliefs center on what is wrong with the game again, by decade. They game is too long, the stadiums are old and in horrible parts of a town with scary parking lots. Batters take too many times outs and the pitcher throws to first far too often. New York teams have dominated the game for years. Yuck! The worst problem is that there is no leadership and the economic disparity between teams can be solved – by dividing the monies gained from TV contracts equally – and still this has not been done.

He has many ways of ranking teams and players, and the ones I love most, and I believe I am not alone, are the 100 best players of all time by position. The regular stats – at bats, hits, slugging percentage, strikeouts, walks, ERA, et alia., however, don’t cut it for Mr. James. They do not tell the whole story. He has devised Win Shares, a score that deconstructs “THE BATTLE TO GET TO THE OBVIOUS” – who was the best? And who was the worst? He summarizes them by asking:

“What is missing from this picture?
What is distorted here, and what is accurately portrayed?
How can we show what has been left out?
How can we correct what has been distorted?”

We are on page 339 and have about 700 pages of answers to get through.

Checking out my statistical manuals – I have a BA in Psychology – I see that James uses the discipline of statistics for two purposes: describing sets of data in terms of graphs which demonstrate middleness (mean, median, mode), and of spread (range, variance, standard deviation). That a distribution can be symmetrical or skewed and how a skew changes the middleness. He also shows how two sets of data can be related, and how a score can be predicted by an individual’s score on a related variable, using something called the standard error of the estimate to indicate the amount of “play” in that prediction. He finds a correlation coefficient on data made up of ranks instead of measurements.

He also uses inferential statistics which means using a set of observable information to make inferences about larger groups that can’t be observed. Sound too boring? Mr. James explains his methods in a general way that is not threatening. And most of the book is the result of close observations that he has made in order to create his rankings. The results are not only enlight-ening, they entertain us. The Statistical abstract is a keeper. James has used statistics to interpret baseball’s collective dreams and they are ours, too, because we love the game.

Another Milestone
Karl Malden died last week at the age of 96. He was quite a tall Serbian with a huge nose who acted in at least 75 movies, usually with great hamminess. The man was a deli unto himself. He was a second banana in two great movies directed by Elia Kazan, On the Waterfront and Streetcar Named Desire. He appeared in it on Broadway, along with Marlon Brando – the one and only Stanley.

But the film I remember best for Malden’s work is Fear Strikes Out, from Jimmy Pearsall’s own biography, directed by Robert Mulligan, and also starring Tony Perkins. Piersall played baseball well as a boy in Waterbury, CT. But he never satisfied the demands of his father, portrayed by Malden. He’d practice in the mornings and the afternoons every day. No matter how many hits he got, how many good catches and throws he made, he was never good enough for Dad.

Piersall made the Red Sox and he seems happy. But Dad keeps the criticism going, attending games and conducting post mortems as if Jimmy has died. His father never cuts him any slack and never praises him. He erodes Jimmy’s psyche to a terrible breaking point. During one of the games he became uncontrollably psychotic. This scene is wonderful. Remember, this is the Tony Perkins who made Psycho such a great movie. He was practicing bigtime in Fear Strikes Out. But his suffering appears realistic – you’ve known from the get-go that Dad is a certified sadist. That kind of character was Malden’s forte anyway. You know, the guy who appears to be a really good person but does such horrible things at home. In a long period of psychiatric care Piersall finds that he has striven more to please his father than himself. He decides he can no longer see him, which his Dad cannot understand.

Piersall was talented; he played in the outfield from 1950 to 1967 in Boston and Cleveland. Looking him up in Bill James’ Abstract I find that he rates Piersall the 92nd best center fielder ever. He has also the tenth lowest rate of errors as a left fielder. And he had an ongoing friendship with Jack Kennedy. Where else can you find these facts? Don’t you want to own the Abstract? I do.


At Last…My Love Has Come Along
Phew! The season starts on March 31st for us when the Phillies welcome the Nats to Citizens Bank Park. I’ll be able to check Paul Lo Duca out again, and he’ll probably need attention. Since it’s a home game I won’t have to look at the Phillies’ new road uniforms with that dark green top. Omigod! Dark green? That was always the color of Dad’s leather club chairs, my mother’s sofa, prep school hockey jumpers and the mattes on duck prints all over America. A Forties color actually, that I haven’t seen since then. But Retro is in, as we know.

The real reason I can’t wait for the season to start is that I won’t have to mute all the drug commercials. The new Bud Lites are coming; the new Bud Lites are coming! I’ll be there.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Milestone Department, March 8th, 2008

It’s Jim Bouton’s 69th birthday today. How do I know? Like every other American I read it in the paper. But of course! He published Ball Four in 1970 when I was docking my dream of moving to Manhattan. So I missed it then. Hey I missed the San Francisco earthquake too. Phew! Ball Four made a much bigger fire. A fire that forty years have not quenched.

Mr. Bouton saw glory days pitching for the Yankees. In his first season – 1962 – he got a World Series ring. In 1968 the Yankees traded him to the Seattle Angels, who would become the Pilots in 1969. In Ball Four he recalls his Yankee time com saudade - with longing - and tells us what happened with the Seattle Pilots and in the same season, the Houston Astros. He takes notes. He keeps his tablet in his uniform pants on the mound and his pen in the dugout. The Pilots’ general manager, the manager and the coaches - so like that great bunch from Lord of the Flies - treat Jim and his teammates as Piggy phalanx, a body of troops they’ve gotta mow down. Without the thrill of murder, but of course.

Pitching coach Sal Maglie, an old hero of Jim’s from the Giants, runs spring training in a way that Jim hopes is not like the way it went with the Yankees: “He told me I’d be pitching five minutes of batting practice today and that I’d be the last pitcher. That might mean something. It’s one of the tiny things you look for during spring training. You watch who you follow in batting practice, try to find out how many minutes you’ve pitched compared with other pitchers, decide whether you’re with the good squad or the bad squad, whether the morning workout is more important than the afternoon workout. The Yankees would divide the squad into morning and afternoon groups and they’d always say it didn’t mean a thing, just two groups for convenience. Except that the morning group always had Mickey Mantle, Roger Maris, Elston Howard, Whitey Ford and guys like that. The afternoon group would have a bunch of guys named Dick Beradino. I never saw a guy hit or pitch himself off the afternoon list.” This is on page 14, a harbinger.

Not having to negotiate his contract makes Mr. Bouton nervous. Then in Spring Training he has to run “fifteen or twenty windsprints” a day in 100 degree Tempe, Arizona sun. This does not light his fire. He concludes that “anyone who can’t sweat in Arizona hasn’t tried”.

GM Marvin Milkes sends a guy to the minors, right? But without any notice! A guy’s on the roster one day then yikes! It’s a heads up for Tony La Paglia. Mr. Bouton pitches two games after the season opens and then: “I died tonight. I got sent to Vancouver. My first reaction: outrage. Second reaction: Omigod! How am I going to tell Bobbie? …The $650 deposit on the place we’d already signed for. Moving again. Again. And we just got here.”

Joe Schultz tells Jim he had to send him to Vancouver because he didn’t think “your knuckle ball did that much in Arizona and we wanted to see what it looked like when it got out of the light air…” From Vancouver he segues to Hawaii – girls work topless at the nightclub in their hotel. Everyone likes this. He pitches well there. On April 29th, back to Seattle.

He concentrates on his knuckleball again. It’s pitch that most pitchers have. But he still wants to be a knuckleball pitcher. Joe Schultz does not believe in Mr. Bouton. When he gets to pitch Schultz demands fast balls and sliders. He obeys; he pitches walks, gives up hits and this makes him sad. If he could pitch more innings he’d be able to count on that knuckleball. It’s no go.

Mr. Bouton cannot tell coaches from babysitters; Eddie O’Brien sees guys eating sunflower seeds in the bullpen. “Hey, no eating in the bullpen. Not even sunflower seeds, Eddie? Nothing, not even sunflower seeds.” There are curfews. There are fines for acts of commission and omission. Guys get depressed and Omigod! It’s like, 20 years before Prozac! The solution? Greenies: dextroamphetamine sulfate! To not take the pipe, to get up, to have energy, to perform. That’s just one of the amazing secret of the book: Players take speed. Yes, they take speed - not injections but pills. And yes, they are not sorry about it.

Among the guys it’s not a secret: greenies are something they do, like having girlfriends in many ports. And there are other earthly pleasures. Egg-walking becomes egg-laying with utterly inspiring practical jokes. The kind that really hurt a person. Get your own notepads out! These are some of the rewards of being kids.

There’s so much that is rotten, horrible and funny if you’re not the perpee. Mr. Bouton reveals some old Yankee habits also. Too Much Information Department? Turn to page 163 of the 20th Anniversary edition.

Then Mr. Bouton goes to the Astros. They’ve been winning games. They’re pennant contenders. But first, there’s manager Harry the Hat Walker. I remember he played third base for the Phillies in my time. He was really ugly. He’s older now, still ugly and a screamer. But Jim gets to pitch, even as a starter. He wins games. And, there’re a hundred more pages of this great stuff!

Baseball Inc. really hated Ball Four. Yes. Everybody else loved it. It’s still fresh, and riveting. That was then, before free agency, million dollar contracts and a few other things. But Dido still sings, When I am laid, am laid to rest, remember me! Not to worry.

Lo Duca Lookout

Despite being ‘social and chatty’, he had a lousy 2007.
He was traded from the Mets to the Nats for their catcher Brian Schneider. He signed a contract for $5 million December 11th, two days before the Mitchell Report was released. It mentioned him 37 times: for receiving shipments of HGH, for putting other players in touch with Kirk Radomski, for writing $3200 cheques. To Radomski, who had given copies to Mitchell investigators.

In a February interview, Mr. Lo Duca admitted “a mistake, mistakes in judgment”. “You do something wrong in your life and you get away with it, you still have something inside you that burns.” ”...It’s a big relief for me to know that I’ve come to grips with it.” A mistake is an error, blunder or misunderstanding. A mistake is wrong, something wrongly judged. I don’t see how ‘mistake’ can describe writing cheques for $3200 a pop except those costly errors of ‘judgment.’

The Times analyzed named the Mitchell players’ performance while allegedly ‘using’, in bar graphs.

Mr. Lo Duca’s graphs show that before he was linked to performance-enhancing substances he only hit well above his career average in 2001. His great 2006 Mets season was so not better than that. Those big cheques were for naught!

Friday, February 29, 2008

The Time of Our Time - February 26th, 2008

“My body is my temple”, Roger Clemens said before the House Committee this past February 13th, having sworn he would tell the truth. Clemens did not say, my body is my pyramid, my cathedral or my Trojan horse. Why ‘temple’? Where does it come from? Why does it matter?

Clemens’ phrase is a cliché for anyone who knows about 5th century Greece as well as for those who do not, but get the drift. Pericles, who was running Athens as the time, planned the buildings on the hill above it and called them the Acropolis. He got the choice from the first democracy in the West.

Architects Iktinos and Kallicrates designed the Parthenon, a large Doric temple that dominated the Acropolis. It stands there yet, damaged but serene, against the Attic sky. The magnificent columns have slight differences of pitch and thickness that looked equidistant and straight. The frieze portrayed a myriad of people - some in chariots - some on horses – many on foot. They bore gifts and sacrifices to the goddess Athena, the golden beacon who stood inside the temple. The suffering of living animals that frieze reveals cries out to us still. How do I know? Lord Elgin, an English marauder and thief, stole it in the 19th century. I saw it at the British Museum in London, along with other heroic sculptures he took from the pediments.

Praxiteles, Pheidias, Socrates, Plato, Sophocles, Euripides Pericles, those 5th century Athenian guys, believed that the spirit’s highest aspirations could be expressed in reality. The Parthenon proves that they had it then and they have it now.

Did Roger Clemens think of the Parthenon on February 13th? Maybe. And maybe February 13th shall have been one of his last evenings on earth.

That Was in Another Country and Besides the Wench is Dead Department



Mets Pitcher Pedro Martinez (and Juan Marichal) made a stunning debut last week on You Tube - our own Interpol. They were spotted at a cockfight in the Dominican Republic, Martinez’ birthplace. Now I saw part of a cockfight on Guam. Nobody had to sing Viva Viagra there. But there was the acrid ooze of betting men’s sweat, and that was just one of the rewards. Large and beautiful cocks had been trained to be aggressive toward each other. Metal spurs on their legs curved upward like a scimitar drew blood. However long the fight may have lasted, the dead cock would have lost it - on Guam, anyway.

The Humane Society correctly had a fit over the Martinez clip. “Cockfighting is a part of my Dominican culture,” he explained. “It’s legal there.” And the Mets added, “We do not condone animal cruelty but we understand that many other countries’ activities such as bullfighting and cockfighting are both legal and part of the culture.”

Thursday, February 21, 2008

On Roger Clemens


The Second Coming

Turning and turning in the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
Things fall apart, the centre cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.

Surely some revelation is at hand;
Surely the Second Coming is at hand.
The Second Coming! Hardly are those words out
When a vast image out of Spiritus Mundi
Troubles my sight: somewhere in sands of the desert
A shape with lion body and the head of a man,
A gaze blank and pitiless as the sun,
Is moving its slow thighs, while all about it
Reel shadows of the indignant desert birds.
The darkness drops again; but now I know
That twenty centuries of stony sleep
Were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle,
And what rough best, its hour come round at last,
Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?

William Butler Yeats

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Chapter Nine: Zenith and Nadir - That was Then, This is Now



Zenith
My most precious possessions are my memories of growing up in the Main Line outside of Philadelphia in the Forties and Fifties. Baseball was integral to my family’s life. My paternal grandfather - Chief Engineer and President of Belmont Iron Works - Joe Shryock, had designed and produced the lights for Shibe Park (which became Connie Mack Stadium), where the Phillies played. My father Dick Shryock had a music store at 1615 Walnut Street. He also had a weekly running poker game with Ben Chapman, then Phillies Manger, and number of pitchers including the very swell Bobo Newsom. My brother and I were allowed to peek.

I cannot emphasize too greatly that as a girl I had to be as good a baseball player as the boys, although of course I didn’t ever expect to join the Major Leagues. All of our families played all of the time until we went away for the summers, us to Beach Haven on Long Beach Island in New Jersey, and most of our friends to other waterfront spots in New Jersey. The question always was, “Where ‘ya goin, this weekend? Down the Shore”. Evenings we played Movies Up (all players stayed in the field and moved up to bat) in our front yard in Penn Valley with our neighbors. We had softball leagues for the girls (hardball for the boys) in our Lower Merion Township schools, and intramural leagues at various playgrounds after school. I pitched softball and played center field with the ‘almost’ hardball of the girls’ game in high school. Teamwork was everything in our lives. The payoff was big in baseball because making errors, striking out, getting caught stealing or off base were things that our peers ridiculed us for, but that we learned to avoid. Practice didn’t get us to Carnegie Hall, but we did get accepted locally.

My generation watched baseball grow to its zenith in the Fifties when I grew up. We were the benefactors of the generation that fought and won World War II. 400,000 men and women died fighting to end Fascism in Germany as well as defeating a Japan with hegemonic intentions already revealed in the cruel invasion and occupation of Nanking, China in 1939. The high cost of those deaths can never be offset. But the productivity that began during that War was shown, for example, by the design and manufacture of the B-29 Super-fortress airplane. This behemoth, 99 ft. long with a 141 ft. wingspan could fly at a height of 40,000 ft., had the first pressurized cabin that guaranteed comfort for pilots and passengers. There were problems of heaviness of the engines that caused heating up and crashes. US Air Corp. Chief Major General “Hap” Arnold intervened in the development of a new prototype when the latest one crashed. He made sure it was ready by 1944. Until the Americans captured Guam, Saipan and Tinian, the B-29 had taken off from secret bases in India and China. The Soviet Union, Britain, Australian also used them, and together demolished the Japanese military machine. When the Enola Gay dropped the atomic bomb on Hiroshima on August 6, 1945 followed by another dropped on Nagasaki the Japanese surrendered unconditionally (while the B-29 was used in the Korean War and into the Sixties).

A nation hungry for consumer goods, whose GI’s longed for nothing more than to be with their families again or create new families, prospered during the most productive decades in US history. Although my Father had wanted to enlist, the nerve in his right ear died in 1940, and he was labeled 4F. This did not stop him from volunteering for the Coast Guard, and joining many other people all over Long Beach Island in watching for German U-Boats. The camaraderie was fine but a little like the two older Italian guys: “See there’s a U-boat”, one of them declared. “That’s a no my boat!” the other one answered. Many parties cemented friendships between all of the island’s residents who might never have known each other except as racing competitors at different Yacht Clubs.

Oh there were serious problems for those who waited at home. There was gasoline and food rationing. We had stamps and these did not provide enough sugar, meat or butter for any of us, particularly my Grandmother Folwell. In restaurants she would open her pocketbook and carefully secrete some butter upon her butter plate, for the rolls. Omigod, we kids (including my two cousins Billy and Little Miriam Adam), were horribly embarrassed by this. Not patriotic! That was a terrible thing.

My mother’s 1st cousin Warren Neff had come home from the Army, having fought as a dog soldier with General George Patton. He adored him and never tired of telling us wonderful stories. He brought home a lot of souvenirs, stamps from countries like Switzerland over marked Osterreich, medals from German uniforms and a Luger pistol. He gave all the small stuff to me, which I kept until I got home from Guam, whereupon my Mother said she had cleaned the basement and got rid of my collections. Warren’s wife had died just after he got back in ’45, of cancer. She left him Linda, then about 5 years old. One day Linda and I were swimming at the Little Egg Harbor Yacht Club, catty-corner behind our summer Sears Cape that Dad had built from a pre-fab kit. Staying at the swim ladder in a life-preserver I told her, “Hey Linda, you’re protected by that life preserver, how about swimming away from the dock. I was 9, a fearless swimmer by then. I pulled Linda away and she got terrified and grabbed me around the neck. The next thing I knew I was on the dock with a boy sitting on me while I vomited up bay water. I never was able to like Linda after that.

But Cousin Warren did throw himself into the postwar life of tremendous fun. More importantly he coupled his own life with the excitement of the authentic destiny of the country that had freed so many in the name of democracy. He was very handsome and could jitterbug well. He taught me how at a small restaurant and bar just around the corner from our house in Penn Valley.
“You’re beautiful”, he wrote in my autograph book.
“And you are beautiful”, he continued.
“God made you beautiful.”
“I wish I could make you, beautiful.” “Oh, Warren!” my Mother exclaimed. But I of course had no idea what he was talking about then. He two-timed, maybe six-timed a number of beautiful girls, something my brother and I could observe at my parents’ parties when the girls met each other and knew nothing about their separate connections to him. At those parties I would wear a hula skirt my grandfather Joe gave me and sing songs by the Andrews Sisters:

“Drinkin’ rum and Co cah-Co-lah.
Sold by mo-thah and daugh-tah,
Both moth-ah and daugh-tah
Workin’ for the Yankee dol-lah, ah, ah, ah”.

And Dorothy Shay, the “Park Avenue hillbilly”:
“You’ve heard of Rosie the Riveter,
Well she’s got nothin’ on me...
'Cause way before her time...
I had a job in Tenn-uh-ssee.
I turned a knob with just one hand...
And ah was satisfied,
Until one day I looked up,
And the boss was at mah side”.

Of course I didn’t get their risqué lyrics, but my family and their friends loved these naïve performances, not least because my mother stuffed my little halter top with socks, and it always slipped down. But also because even then I had a true singing voice and could imitate any melodies I heard right off.

When Goddard Lieberson invented the Long Playing Record he transformed music. No more 78 and 45 rpm formats and poor reproduction! Albums became a source of national delight and graphic excellence. Nat Cole and Frank Sinatra recorded for Johnny Mercer’s new company, Capitol Records. Nat was a great singer as well as a fine jazz pianist. I played Red Sails in the Sunset and They Tried to Tell Us We’re Too Young so often that my mother and new stepfather forbade me to continue. Frank sang the outstanding arrangements of Gordon Jenkins and Nelson Riddle which sold well also. All of our best singers shone during the postwar period, particularly Peggy Lee, June Christy and Chris Connor, phew! They were wonderful. But my favorite singer was Bobby Darin, whose first LP knocked everybody out. He had a jazzy timbre that transformed ballads we thought we knew like Beyond the Sea (I still have my gold record charm of it) and Mack the Knife with sparkling arrangements. He could play the piano and dance. Yes Elvis was King but Bobby was The Prince whose way with songs was so classy. And he could act and produce tool. He died of a heart attack at 39, in 1973. There has not been anyone as terrific since!

And in keeping with the confidence Americans had in their bones then, the first great event that took place in baseball happened after the War. It was the entrance of Jackie Robinson into the Major Leagues as a shortstop for the Brooklyn Dodgers in 1947, the first black player. He paved the way for many outstanding guys such as OF Hank Aaron, P Bob Gibson, C Roy Campanella, SS Ernie Banks and not least, CF Willie Mays. When their teams traveled, did these men have a different level of hotel rooms, did they still have problems with southern Jim Crow laws and practices? Yes they did. But Americans became very aware of the inequalities Black people endured in Jackie Robinson’s struggle. Congress followed suit in the Sixties.

The postwar appetite for the game was great: we doted on our stars, collected and traded the cards that told of their careers and achievements. My father took my brother and me to many Phillies games; each of us slept with our own mitts rubbed with neatsfoot oil under our pillow The chance of catching a ball existed, even ‘though we were so young. And in 1950 our own Phillies won the pennant! We not only loved these guys, all of us wrote love letters to them; CF Richie Ashburn, LF Del Ennis (he had the League’s highest batting average that year), our great pitcher Robin Roberts, P Bob Sisler, P Curt Simmons, P Jim Konstanty,3B Willie Jones, 1B Eddie Waitkus, C Andy Seminick. In the marvelous prizewinning book that my daughter Nicole gave me this Christmas called The Real Book About Baseball author Lyman Hopkins describes the last day of that season: “The Phils were playing the Dodgers at Ebbets Field. If the Phils won, it meant the pennant. If the Dodgers won, it meant a tie finish and a play-off series of two out of three more games to decide the winner of the pennant. The thrilling battle came right down to the last of the ninth inning with the score tied. With one out, the Dodgers had runners on first and second. Duke Snider belted a hit on a line into center field and the crowd cape up with a roar as the runner on second, Cal Abrams, took off. It was surely the winning run! The third base coach waved Abrams around third and on to home. He knew Abrams could run fast, and he knew that the Philly center fielder, Richie Ashburn, while a brilliant player, did not have a particularly strong throwing arm. He also knew that with a combination like that, a runner will score from second nine times out of ten on a clean single through to the outfield.

But this was the tenth time! With the entire season and Philadelphia’s first pennant in thirty-five years at stake, young Ashburn threw caution to the winds. He raced in toward the ball at top speed, usually a dangerous gamble. He snared the ball cleanly with one hand and without a moment’s hesitation fired it home. It came in strong and true and the amazed Abrams was easily tagged out. The Dodgers lost and game, and the pennant, in the next inning. In the Philadelphia dressing room later the grinning Ashburn admitted: “It was the best throw I ever made in my whole live. I surprised myself with it.”

Pitchers pitched whole games then, but no one made the million dollar salaries players fetch now. They often had jobs in the off-season. What happened was television, but of course. Advertisers paid ever increasing fees to pitch their products and services. Teams made money and players wanted a piece of the action and free agency! (As we know they struck in 1994 and there was no World Series.) Why did baseball reach its zenith in the Fifties? has a simple answer: because Americans were great people in the Fifties and baseball reflected us.

Nadir
I received a communication from a young woman named Angela recently in regard to Paul Lo Duca. She dated him a number of times during the 2006 season when he led the Mets to a thrilling playoff with the Cardinals that they lost. Mr. Lo Duca had a fabulous year then. He batted .315 while poking many hits over second base that scored at least one runner.

Angela lives in one of the five towns of southern Long Island. She is 20 years old and is in her third year toward a BS in Nursing at a local university. She wants to get a graduate degree also. She read the Mitchell Report as excerpted in the New York Times on Friday, December 14th. He was no. 22 in the list of players who are said to have taken either steroids or human growth hormones by injection from Mets trainer Brian McNamee. Notes on Mr. Lo Duca were quoted from an internal discussion among Dodgers officials in October 2003, “steroids aren’t being used anymore on him. Big part of this. Might have some value to trade…Florida might have some interest. Got off the steroids…Took away a lot of hard line drives…Can get comparable value back would consider trading…If you do trade him, will get back on the stuff and try to show you he can have a good year. That’s his makeup. Comes to play. Last year of contract, playing for ‘05”.

Angela was able to interpret the graph of Mr. Lo Duca’s performance, she believes, which showed that he had a higher home run average in 2002 on the LA Dodgers while his average was more or less the same after he was linked to steroids, particularly in 2006.

Angela wants to know whether – knowing that Mr. Lo Duca is playing now with the Nats, having secured a 5 million dollar contract from Manager Manny Acta - she might contact him. Her mother and father are against it, she says, but he was a swell person to be with, very witty, funny and generous. She has missed him, she admits. Now, having admired his 2006 season greatly myself, I think that he probably is as you describes him in person, Angela. Since he will be summering rather far from Shea Stadium if you did want to see him you might contemplate spending a few weekends at some of our Delaware beach towns, Lewes, Dewey Beach, Rehoboth, Cape Henlopen. These towns are lovely and have good beaches, although not all of them compare to Jones Beach and some of New Jersey’s great beaches.

I have a picture from theTimes of Tuesday December 11th, before the Mitchell Report. It shows Mr. Lo Duca cleaning out his locker at Shea Stadium in October. Dressed in an outfit as far as can be imagined from his cream linen Armani slacks and black polo shirts, he looks dejected and dreamy at the same time – a guy who knows how much he’ll miss the Mets. Indeed he has subsequently said that one of the great things about playing for the Nats is that he will see the Mets 18 times. Since the Mitchell Report he has not either been interviewed and certainly has not been quoted at all on what that Report has said about him. Perhaps he believes that having stopped taking steroids five years ago, he need not concern himself with the hoopla over more important players like Roger Clemens.

Here is what you have to ask yourself, Angela. If Paul Lo Duca stopped taking steroids, or was taking steroids through the
2002 season, why did he not do the right thing, the smart thing, and admit that he did? Like Andy Pettitte, whose admission may have cleared his own psychic playing field, if not the fans’. None of us who have broken laws are exempt from their consequences, even if no one finds out what we’ve done. So the question remains, do you want to date a man who may have done something that not only injured himself and his family but betrayed baseball? In betraying baseball, those men who have been named and the probability of there being many more such players who were not, betrayed America. That is what I think, Angela. But I am a 71-year old lady who has already made most of my important choices – and some of them were truly rotten. You, however, are a thoughtful 20 year old woman whose life is just beginning to offer choices which will shape your character forever. I know you can make a good decision about Mr. Lo Duca.


Lyman Hopkins, The Real Book about Baseball. Doubleday & Company, Inc., Garden City, New York, Copyright 1951, 1958, 1962, Pp.26, 27.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Chapter Eight: Jimmy Rollins Named National League MVP



We Phillies fans never doubted that Jimmy would win. And not just because of his amazing achievements in hitting, slug-ging, being at bat and all that. The Baseball Writers Association of America forgot to mention that he is one of the most graceful players in the game. Being a fabulous shortstop counts more than being a fabulous left fielder, for gosh sakes. Outgoing Philadelphia Mayor John Street gave him his “Day” with a lot of terrific action including his giving 32 computers to a local high school. Although I’m exactly fifty years too old for him, had I been the mayor I would have declared it “Jimmy Rollins Night” also.



I’m gonna write to General Manager Pat Gillick that now’s the time to put a statue of Mr. Rollins up at Citizens Bank Park, while he’s in his prime. Omigosh, yes! This morning I talked to Wilmington Sculptor Charles Parks’ (he has a huge body of work one can see locally) Assistant, Brad Vanneman, about the challenges of creating Jimmy’s face. It’s about that amazing smile with the gap between his front teeth. Mr. Vanneman, who is a big Phillies and Rollins fan, agreed that his smile was KEY! Zenos Frudakis has created the sculptures at the Park so far, but the point of doing a living person lies in finding that elusive mix of conviction and talent in a sculptor whom the subject will trust. Never forget that architect I.M. Pei got to build that ethereal pyramid at the Louvre because he won President Mitterand's contest.



The fans, whose funds might be matched by Management, can support this. Well, you might ask, what about Ryan Howard, Chase Utley or Cole Hamels (among others)? Yes they are all wonderful. But we love Jimmy Rollins unreservedly and we’ve felt that way since his first season seven years ago.


Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Chapter Seven: Seasonal Tag Ends, World Series, New Business

Was this Paul Lo Duca’s Last Year with the Mets?

I saw the Sunday September 16th Phillies 10-6 game against the Mets from behind the Phillies dugout right on the field at Shea. One does experience the game intensely at that level! Phew! There was Greg Dobbs’ pinch grand slam. And Paul Lo Duca at very close range. He must have been suffering from Terminally Tired Teeny Bopperitis. Far from appearing appealingly chunky, he looked fat. He airmailed a throw over second and certainly didn’t keep the other six of the Phils’ ten runs from crossing the plate, either. The Mets made six errors in that game! Shortly before the end of the season, but in time for them still to win the East, Mr. Lo Duca shaved off his becoming crew cut. That example did not help, as we Phillies fans know. And when he woke up and smelled the roses, David Wright was the new team captain who had never given in. Who hit better and fielded more brilliantly at the end of the season than he had all year (which he needed to do).


But then the Mets had to die horribly in order for the Phils to win the Division Title.

Phillies Post Partum Depression!
They certainly seemed contented not to stretch themselves further against the Rockies, or at least Charlie Manuel didn’t ask them to. One might have thought that the Phillies’ disappointing performance against the Rockies would have made them and Charlie Manuel exceedingly depressed. I could not discern this in their remarks, ‘though, nor in their public demeanor. It would seem that the Division Title was the prize they had knocked themselves out for regardless of victory’s ironic path. Manuel did not manage them with any brio either in those Playoff games. Absolutely Not Department! Except for Pitcher Jamie Moyer’s third game, everyone phoned in his work. Any further des-criptions shall not follow.

Another Skewed World Series – Yawn City Again
The Rockies played with such a lack of cohesion and forcefulness; they were so tentative, I wondered how they had accumulated their previous record. Just another example of: A New Series Team Choking Department. The Sox didn’t just beat them, they engulfed them. I can’t stand to watch the Sox, ‘though, because so many of them look like rejects from a casting call for HBO’s late lamented Deadwood series. They have so much revolting facial hair. Yuck! It’s about the catcher Jason Varitek and the rookie Dustin Pedroia.

First Baseman Kevin Youkilis could be one of the Smith Brothers. The cough drop Smiths, but of course.

Post Mortem


I’m proposing a new logo for Major League Baseball as a new sign of truth in advertising. A rendering, a transformation as it were, of this photograph of a beautiful piece of porcelain that I happen to own. The Minton China Company in England made it some time between 1875 and say, 1920. It has crenellated sides and is made of porcelain in a stunning blue design on white from the Art Nouveau period. It is a spittoon. This particular spittoon is quite valuable because it is an authentic piece by an important manufacturer still in business. Were it not, I’d pack it up and send it by FED EX to Sox Manager Terry Francona for his revolting performance during the recent Series.

But I’m gonna keep it right here and wait for the call.